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Friday, August 17, 2007

It hurts when it is real

An aqcuaintance, a guy who by all appearances had it together , killed himself.
I did not know him well but I knew him and I knew, beyond a doubt, he was good guy.
He mentored kids, owned a house, he had a great job, I was told he had two daughters. He also was a good musician and played keyboards at our annual church Easter Pageant.
Just last week there was a rumor that I killed my self.
Shocking, Sickening.
The meanspirited misinformation blazed through Utica's black community. People stopped me on the street asking me if I was O.K.
People at church were hugging and kissing me like I came back from the dead. Where it came from I will never know or care. What I do know is there was another guy , like me, who REALLY was hurting. Who needed help.
I want to preface what I write next with a hearsay clause although I do not consider this gossip, it is much too serious an issue to be taken lightly. The information I have recieved regarding this event is secondhand.
I was told he had vocally announced his intent to his significant other, she alerted the police who arrived and determined that the victim was O.K..
Later that night he was found.
I know in a lot of places it is illegal to do yourself harm. If one announces the intent to do so, they are sent in for an evaluation or a suicide watch.
I can't help but think there was something overlooked. He was not his right mind but he cried out for help.
He could still be here.


fairlane said...

I worked for six years as a counselor. The rule is that if someone says they are going to kill themselves that it is to be taken seriously even if you think they are saying just to get attention etc.

Those cops didn't do their jobs. They are supposed to contact someone, and as you said possibly take him in for evaluation.

This unfortunately is a common theme. People who plan on committing suicide typically let others know in one way or another, but I think denial often plays a role because people don't want to believe it.

I had a classmate commit suicide when I was 12. He was only 12 and already had enough.

It's sad that so many people lose hope, but I honestly can't blame them sometimes when I look around this jacked up world.

luminaria said...

I'm sorry to hear about your acquaintence's experience as well as yours. I wish I could say something meaningful. I haven't personally known anyone who committed suicide, but a few years ago I read a very helpful and insightful book that offers ways we can really help those in our lives who have indicated they might take their own lives. I recommend it highly.Also, I found a good resource link on suicide prevention that might offer you some perspectives.

ClapSo said...

It's sad when we lose a member of our community. It's even more sad when such a loss could have been prevented!

As to the rumor mill in utica, it ain't just a black thing Dancy!

This town is filled with jabbering nut cases that feel the need to talk smack about everybody around them.

Have you heard the rumor about me being a space alien?

The scientifically impossible I do right away
The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

luminaria said...

Oops, sorry. I forgot to include the name of the book. It's title is "The Suicidal Mind". Do a search on Amazon and you can read the reviews.

Aletha said...

I'm sorry to hear about that David.
Seems like more could have been done for him, as fairlane said..
Seems last week was a bad one for suicide in our town. I know of at least three others last week ...
Something in the stars?
Peace be with them all.