As American As Apple Pie

Black History is American History. The lack of historical acknowledgement or an accurate account of the Black American experience is a regular complaint of those dedicated to racial justice in America.

The continued subtle omission of Black/American accomplishments in history books help shape a contemporary mindset- an indoctrination.

O.K. back to omissions

A particularly grievous omission( historical disregard) hovers around the issue of lynching; this brutal bizarre form of mob 'justice' would occur continually from the end of the Civil War to the last celebrated lynching in 1951. The statistics are fuzzy- The Tuskeegee institute claims about 3,500 during that period- most of the lynching recorded were documented through press clipping and postcards , there were obviously a lot more.

My grandmother has shared first hand accounts of an American world gone mad.

Before we continue ask yourself.

If I was alive then would I do something?

(To stop it)?

The Klu Klux Klan started in 1865.....thats interesting.

Isn't that the same year the slaves were freed?

Mr. Pike( 1st Grandmaster) did not wait one Mystikal second to set the record straight.

No..... I repeat...no.... uppity niggers!


The white supremacist mindset included a belief that Black people were less than human therefore inhumane acts could be committed.

The Klan would help define those methods.

The level of brutality was incomprehensible.

A lot of people will have difficulty reading this post.

Many won't even finish

Racism hits a nerve.

I always wonder why white people are so quick to say.

"This isn't about race"
"He played the race card"

We did not invent the race card.

Back to lynching.

Contrary to popular belief there was a lot of skilled slave labor. Slaves were used to build and maintain the infrastructure of the Southern United States.

But who cares.

They are not doing it now.

We all know the Civil War devestated the southern economy. All the, newly freed, skilled artisans who were once sources of income for their masters immediately became bonafide competitors.

There main competition was poor whites.

The frugal lifestyle of the former slave served as a catalyst for creativity and efficiency. It was easy for these survivors to create a comfortable modest lifestyle from very little.

Prosperity was right around the corner all the newly freed men needed was opportunity. The ingredients for success were there.

Guaranteed in The Constitution.

Many ex-slaves began to thrive as a result of hard work and of course, humility but the rapid success brought about jealousy from the Southern Gentleman- the once dominant Southern Planter did not enjoy the same profits he did before. It was an abomination for him to be stripped of his skilled cheap labor, but for the brutes to succesfully compete with him was unthinkable- like war with Iran

Still here?

Good.

I actually got hate mail for this article.

As we climbed the social totem pole under the watchful and protective eye of Federal Troops we began to develop a little self esteem. Started to walk upright, no longer bowing our heads as we walked by a white person. Some even made direct eye contact with a white person-before abolition that could get you killed.

Some former slaves even competed in international markets for tobacco and other crops during harvest charging top dollar for a superior crop.

This is surely where the notion of being uppity was invented.

The former Master snickering away as The French Merchant buys his ex-slave's bumper crop of Tobacco.

His face turning red.

Knuckles bone white.

Gripping the Lions Head on his cane... A gentleman

Many white southerners felt the The Federal Government had declared outright war on their sensibilities. There was a simmering effect.

It was not just the Klan.

There was determination to prevent the newly freed black men from ever being on equal ground with was the white man.

William J Northern Governor of Georgia from 1890-1894 conducted qa fact finding mission on the backroads of his state
He observed: I was amazed to find scores and hundred of men who believed the negro to be a brute, without reponsibility to God, and his slaughter nothing more than the killing of a dog.

Remember Black folks were no longer a private commodity the value of Black life cheapened considerably.

Lynching became the most popular means of controlling and intimidating Black people. To deter ant type of progress but it was mainly about white supremacy. It was terrorism American style.
It was a cultural phenomenon that persisted for generations undeterred by local, regional and even Federal law enforcement.

Lynching were not restricted to the south, they occured all over the United States.

Wherever they were it was an occasion.

There was a self righteous pride in these mobs. Photographs were taken, post cards made to commemorate what came to be known as The Negro Bar- B- Que.

Most of us conjur images of a man hanging from a tree.

Sorry- its worse.

The first recorded lynchings involved tying the victim to a tree, whipping them and then setting them on fire.

Pretty effective way to send a message to the uppity......

They would usually grab an innocent upstanding citizen to send a message

"We'll take their best nigger an burn im on the trash heap if they get to actin biggity"(quote in Without Sanctuary 00')

The power of the lynch mob was directly related to the excitement that could be generated. Many victims were dragged out of court after acquittal by a Judge and lynched. You could be lynched for just about anything.

Talk about race card.

There are documented lycnchings with absurd reasons like reckless eyeballing, unpopularity...unpopularity? and not selling land

Regardless the atmosphere was always carnival like . A man dressed as a clown in blackface
might be running around like a gleeful imp encouraging people on the sidelines to get involved.

People would sometimes rampage through streets severing digits, limbs or genitals off the victim as they made their way kicking, screaming and pleading for mercy

The burning coal oil would await them and the mob would erupt in a frenzy as the near dead but concious man/woman was lowered into the oil. Participants would come and clip a finger, toe somethiong as a souvenir before he was finally set afire and mercifully allowed to die.

An account of a lynching a by a reporter for the Vicksburg Evening Post decribes the 1904 execution of a husband and wife. When the two negroes were captured, they were tied to trees and while their funeral pyres were being prepared the were forced to suffer the most fiendish tortures. The blacks were forced to hold out thier hands while one finger at a time was chopped off . The fingers were distributed as souvenirs. The ears of the murderers were cut off. Holbert was beaten severely his skull was fractured and one of his eyes, knocked out with a stick, hung by a shred from the socket...The most excruciating form of punishment consisted in the use of a large corkscrew in the hands of some of the mob. The instrument was bored into the woman in the arms, legs ,and body and then pulled out, the spirals tearing out big pieces of raw, quivering flesh every time it was withdrawn.

A frenzied atmosphere...in America there are a lot of frenzied atmospheres.

Suffice it to say the thin fabric of order was routinely torn in many otherwise law abiding communities. Entire towns would trade in their civility and replace it with demonic, unthinkable demonstrations of hatred.

Words like savage , brutal, sadistic, evil and abberant can be used to describe every report of a lynching. remember these were supposedly sane people. The postman, The Dentist.

They were all indoctrinated to believe it was o.k.

This is The America we fail to recall in The History Books.

This is the America that gave a race of people PTSD

An old black man shared some thoughts "Kill a mule, buy another, Kill a nigger hire another...They had to have a license to kill anything but a nigger".

At least now you have to have a badge.

Bridge the gap...if you can.

any funny looking heirlooms in your family?

Whistleblower Blues

How would you feel if you if you found out you were unwittingly involved in a treasonous plot?

You come to work everyday, do your assignments and stumble upon some unsavory information, files detailing the subversive actions you have been an integral part of.

You have found proof that your company, for whom you have faithfully worked, is engaged in clearly illegal acts on a grand scale against citizens of the United States with the full knowledge of Government officials.

What would you do?

Would you stand there frozen in shock and fear?

Would you tell anyone?

What if no one believed you?

The recent lawsuit filed by the Electronic Frontier Foundation against AT&T is the result of someone who acted. Someone brave enough to step out of the herd and do the right thing. You may or may not have heard of this man but he is a true American hero.

Mark Klein

Klein was a peon in the vast corporate network of AT&T Network systems. A hired gun dispatched to a different central office every few months.

Central offices are essentially the same. There is a lot of cable. People, in and out, different equipment- highly classified. There is not a need for a fleet of people to man the operations . The systems are automated.

Mark Klein witnessed the installation of some very powerful surveillance equipment for The NSA and he also noted that a significant portion of the communications traffic was filtered through this equipment.

There were also plans to build similiar systems in other large urban areas throughout the United States.

There is a significant portion of techno jargon being ommitted from this post for simplicity I want it to be understood, in no uncertain terms, we are being listened to, lied to and when necessary- watched.

In a nutshell, they put in equipment that literally allows the government to access or monitor any digital correspondence from anyone, anywhere within the network, in real time.

I guess we can all rest easy that this technology is in the hands of our Federal Government, after all, when has the fatherland ever betrayed us?

What makes this so stinky is our own congress lacks the balls to protect it's constituents. Klein himself has testified and expressed frustration on behalf of our lethargic Congress.

They really don't give a fuck.

They feel it is o.k. to get snooped on; the overwhelming sentiment is : "If you are not doing anything than you have nothing to worry about".

The news media will not touch it. I wonder what multi-billion dollar lobby is employing spin demons to squash this story on every level possible? What bellitling piece of reporting did our national spin doc er' national news show on the subject.

I admit I gave half a shit when I first heard about the eavesdropping I did not understand the technology they were using . I have the benefit of experience when it come to communications. The whistleblower did it all for me.

He brought it home.

He put a bow on it.

He wrapped it all up for me.

Congress is doing the rest.

By doing nothing.

There has been very little coverage of this situation.

Big Surprise

Strange, surreal- this front page news.
http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2006/04/70621

Is It Too Much?

I recently attended a 9/11 truth meeting. I didn't go because I needed to validate what I already believe, I went because I was curious about who else would be there.

The small group that came out was an accurate reflection of the community I live in. Most of the people were hard working, professional, 30 something white adults. No asians or hispanics (I was the only A.A.).

The demographics really don't matter I think apathy is equally distributed among all classes and races.

The expert, I forgot his name, was armed with a power point laser and many facts.

Facts.

Temperatures required to melt steel, eye witness accounts, and an incredible amount of interviews of people who were there when the towers fell.

I am going to be honest , I knew something was up when Oliver Stone did a movie on it.

JFK anyone?

He, the expert, even whipped out a U.C. Davis study on particulate matter spread throughout the boroughs and what type of explosive is likely to break down a substance to that fine state.

The clincher, for me , is/was Tower 7.

There she sat, all alone, no one paying attention to her.

She caught fire and fell.

Evenly.

Perfectly.

Nary a bit of damage to her neighbors.

In-fucking-credible.

I am one of those guys who beleive in conspiracies; it goes with the territory when you live or have lived above or around the law.

By definition a conspiracy is a plot involving more than two people carried out unbeknownst to everyone else. I can PLAN to throw a surprise b-day party; it turns into a conspiracy when the recipient is on a pacemaker and surprises might kill him/her.

Evil also seems to be a necessary ingredient for the working definition.

O.K. back to the meeting.

When he finished his case it was time for question and answer. Most people nervously shifted in their seats throughout the presentation- a good indication he was hitting some nerves. But there were a few, arms crossed, furrows browed scratching their necks and ultimately voicing their displeasure that he would present these facts and make such assertions.

There was one particularly interesting exchange:

"so you are trying to say our government killed 3,000 people"?

"No, I'm not- what i am saying is the explanation we have been given does not add up with the physical evidence"

"You mean to tell me you think those buildings could have survived being hit with a jumbo jet"?

" Sir,there is no other evidence that a fire, especially on the upper floors, could ever topple a building in the manner the towers fell".

"What a nut job"

At this point a retired structural engineer spoke up in defense of the 'expert'. He argued in his favor clearly explaining the discrepencies to the uncomfortable member of the group.

It didn't sink in, in fact, he waved off the engineer, he gave him- 'the hand'!.

Regardless of the facts, despite the obvious eyewitness testimony this issue will forever be labeled as just another conspiracy.

It is sad that we live in an era where conspiracy is par for the course. It comes down to which is the worst.

I honestly think those buildings were wired for a controlled demolition when they were first attacked- as a failsafe, in the event something like that happened again and the towers became a threat. Our government will never be able find the words to explain why. People would want to know what else is wired.

Speculation, conjecture- requirements for the seasoned theorist.

Remember all the other experiments and programs the government, our government, has been caught carrying out under our very noses.

Don't be afraid.

Just come to terms with the idea.

You could be a lab rat.

Why T.I.?

T.I., a multi-platinum rap artist, arrested for weapons possession; he was charged with a Federal crime.

Michael Vick, convicted for fighting pitbulls.

No argument, these are atrocious acts against The United States of America. I'm sure somewhere, in their lives, exists a nefarious web of deceit, a grievious threat to national security.

Not Likely.

I need to preface the remainder of this post with a simple message.

Mike Vick got screwed.

T.I. is going to get screwed.

I am not going to defend T.I. just yet. It wouldn't matter anyway. All the ingredients of a good, malicious Federal case are there.

Young Black and Rich- "check"

Young arrogant black and Rich- "check"

Probably sold drugs before- "check"

I think the recent murder of his close friend in Cincinatti may have raised a few eyebrows.

The Feds got involved.

I don't think the Feds were necessarily trying to vindicate the loss of life. Like any other crime they saw it as an opportunity to investigate further. To learn intimate details about a high profile person.

Black people are not the only ones to suffer from this phenomenon. But with us, the stakes get higher much faster and there is no patience on behalf of our legal system.

Just ask Mike Vick how his life was completely turned upside down- it started with a bong.

There is no doubt T.I. was thoroughly investigated, it may have been revealed he got a hard on from machine guns and other weapons of mass mayhem. He may have been overheard talking some crazy shit midway through a blunt. His boys sorrounding him- egging him on.

The Feds ,listened.

They learned.

They promptly set him up.

His bodyguard was caught attempting to purchase automatic weapons equipped with silencers.

The Feds gave his hired goon an option.

"Go through with the deal and we will cut you slack- these guns weren't for you were they"?

The bodyguard alledgedly took $12,000.00 in cash to purchase the weapons.

T.I. was present to pick up the weapons.

Hours later he was scheduled to perform at the BET music awards. He also went on to share the victory for best album with Common. But , of course, he wasn't there to recieve it.

Let's face it. Rappers are hard to defend. Plus, it is to early to tell exactly what went down.But I am the 'vanguard of the disenfranchised' I have to stand with T.I.. Until some bombshell information comes out and we discover the man planned a mass murder spree I am content to construct the real story for you all.

As I mentioned T.I was grieving the death of a close friend during a shootout. It is possible there was still a credible threat against someones, namely T.I.'s, safety. Bodyguards handling automatic weapons can be comforting for a fledgling Kingpin who has endured threats of all shapes and sizes since he came up.

What if he was preventing another Biggie Smalls BET Awards murder. Maybe he was clearly threatened during the awards festivities by some unknown rival.

Do these scenarios justify the acquisition of weapons of mass mayhem?

To answer that for him would be foolish.

Fuck it- He was clearly justified.

To understand would require a deeper than average understanding of the adversarial relationship ex-cons have with any form of law enforcement- even the 'good' ones.

Anyone who has any sense knows T.I was not going to pull a Scarface and wipeout a maruading army on his sprawling Estate.

He has bodyguards.

They need guns.

I'm going with the credible threat scenario and I am sticking to it.

Come to think of it- he just might not get screwed.

What I'm Into Sometimes

I attended a Landmark Forum seminar last night.

It was interesting.

I think the best word to describe it is intriguing.

Believe it or not, I am intrigued by a lot of things. Anything structured and phenomenally succesful like the Forum gets my attention. I am fortunate to be among many graduates that have learned how to use the technology of transformation(active thoughts).

People who have not attended the forum think the idea of 'technology' is ridiculous or mysterious at best. I have had very few conversations regarding my experience; it is on purpose, the more I start to explain, the more layered in bullshit my explanation becomes.

Using Landmark terminology, the language of transformation, really yields results- desired results. I learned a long time ago about visualization(eighth grade conquests) but I never conciously 'broke it down'.

These guys are on to something.

From what I have gathered Landmark was previously called Erhard System Training. It could be described as a more intense form of'positive brainwashing'(if that is possible) perfected by a mysteriously brilliant figure named Werner Erhard. Erhard was a succesful car salesman. I don't want to get into him. It would require more writing than I am prepared to do.

Simply put, he embodied all the qualities of a good lawyer or shuckster, depending on what side of the desk you were on or how you were positioned on it.

What compelled him to start this new exciting 'therapy' is beyond me. What is important to remember is the radical social changes that were occuring in the Bay Area during the sixties and early seventies. It was a destination for thousands , millions of people 'seeking'.

Seeking and not finding.

All the while, Erhard sought and found a small fortune in the car business. He also developed a keen understanding of human nature and the 'things' that move us as people. He met regularly with the brilliant minds of the time. Stanford Theoretical physicists, even renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking. All them were regularly invited to his beautiful Mansion in San Francisco.

I have always assumed they were tripping on acid and discussing the absurd reality that has been chosen by most of us.

These masters of quantum understanding helped fortify something Erhard already knew. Without all the mathematical jargon Erhard was able to grasp some very important fundamentals to the technology he would later bring to the modern world.

He just had to work out the kinks.

With the help of some experts- perhaps colleagues of Dr Gottliebb himself - Erhard System Training mades its way from college campus parties to his central location somewhere in San Francisco.

In 1971 he held his first seminar.

There he would put the participants through a rigorous 48 hour cleansing. He believed people needed to be deconstructed before they could be useful to the new technology that he was offering them. Some of the words used to describe the experience are demeaning, humiliating, abusive , profane and authoritarian.

I would not have lasted. Simply put, I don't and never have taken shit, from anyone; I guess thats my story and I willfully stick to it.

Anyway he succesfully brought his version of self help to many people in The Bay Area and beyond. I rememebr mentioning EST to my mother that was her era; I am sure , as a hip adult in the seventies she had run across it. She had; after some prodding she explained "I ran across people who followed Jim Jones too... I decided to just sell Shacklee... it was easier" When it came to yelling, denying bathroom breaks and all those tactics that they infamously employed she was definitely-

"Already Always Listening"

In other words she didn't take shit either.

Black folks have a distinctly different approach to self help, that is an intrinsic quality to our story. We are not at a point where we have everything, yet, still feel that 'emptiness'. We are still 'locked' in the struggle. My mother thought many of the people who were in this introductory seminar had complaints about life that were trivial and they were simply spoiled adults who where coming to terms with not having things their way all the time. As my great-aunt Lou used to say.

"Tough Titty".

Landmark is definitely a much different version of EST. Werner Erhard sold the technology and left the country in 1991. Since then it has been modified and, like I said, provides some intriguing approaches to life that I like.

I am drawn to transforming the world around me; visualizing goals and achieving them. The forum provides a vehicle for great communicators to be better. Bad communicators to be understandable and good communicators to be great.

I like the whole idea of getting rid of right and wrong; being clear about motives and agendas. When I write my goals down now it is like a fraction. I have to break it down to the lowest common denominator and I am amazed at what I end up with - with what I really want.

If I don't get it

Tough Titty

My Original un-edited Review

I am posting this recent review because my editor chopped it up. I guess he needed space, nevertheless, I resent him replacing lukewarm with warm-over. He essentially took a lot of bite out of my original and I was left with that empty- embarassed feeling.
So without further ado enjoy!


Daily Show’s Rory Albanese Barely Finds Utica

On Septemeber 29th Rory Alabanese, writer and Emmy winning Co-Executive Producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart finally performed at Mohawk Valley Community College as part of the Community College’s 2007 Cultural Series.

The show, originally scheduled for Sept 15th, was cancelled due to Rory’s Emmy nomination. He barely made this one too. His late arrival ( hour and a half) from New York City came courtesy of bad directions. In his words “The time we wasted we could have been in Montreal”.

Too bad for us.

After all “its only Utica” and a big time Emmy winner scheduled to perform prior to his big time nomination had to channel all his comedic energy to make this decidedly insignificant show. To share the workload and kill time he brought along two writers from The Daily Show.

The two writers on the show who accompanied him, Adam Lowitt and Rich Blumquist, didn’t just come along for the ride they ‘performed’ as well. They also, according to Albanese, were responsible for the late arrival. Albanese quipped “ We got a Mapquest guy and a google guy; they both were wrong” People in the crowd -some with their arms crossed all night- had to muster up the effort to laugh. Maybe it was the timing; or even the long ride, whatever the reason, it wasn’t funny.

If they were good the presence of two extra performers could have been considered a bonus instead they waded through vague material that elicited a smattering of laughs at best. Attending the show gave many an opportunity to think about bills, upcoming essays, loved ones, favorite presidential candidate, prostate exams , you get the point.

To their defense, stand-up is not their forte’. Writing is. What they do for the Daily Show is very demanding and they must deliver on a Daily basis. That alone does not excuse the lukewarm performance. In fact I am being merciful.

The first performer was Adam Lowitt. Lowitt started his career as an intern on The Daily Show and seemed comfortable on stage. In fact, his stage presence rivaled Albanese. He provided some marginally funny personal stories and in the right situation he could have a living room full of family and friends laughing for hours. Instead he tested his latest material out on the crowd who responded with intermittent chuckles and merciful applause.

Next was Rich Blumquist. Blumquist started out bad and got worse. “Utica sounds like a prison; a super max where there are only two ways out” -the crowd anticipating something, anything funny waited- “In a pine box or a car”

Somewhere in the auditorium a cricket chirped.

Blumquist’s stage presence conjured images of Rainman or someone suffering from Asperger Syndrome. His inability to connect to the audience with jokes led to an impromptu and abrupt end to his- according to Lowitt- third disastrous try at stand-up.

Strike three.

At one point he segued into a joke with “this isn’t even a joke”. Almost everyone agreed. Many people were perplexed. To his credit I surmise his cerebral humor was probably funny on paper, just like The No Child Left Behind Act but, like our educators, he was unable to translate it.

The headliner, Rory Albanese started out admonishing the crowd “Give it up! Lets hear it Utica”!!! the crowd responded with premature applause. He continued alienating proud Uticans with “The Mohawk Valley huh? If that’s what you want to call it.”

One thing is true. On the ‘cool’ scale New York City has Utica beat, but these guys are not the reason , it is the art, the food, the diversity and the cab drivers who don’t speak English - not Rory Albanese. I am positive when the list of cool things to do in NYC is released they are nowhere on it.

He detailed their odyssey from New York City to Utica, which everyone knows, is right off the tollway. He knew they were lost when they got to gas station and the attendant with one arm and no teeth gave them directions “I though the people in Utica had teeth” he shared.

His obvious strength is in Improv. There was an uncharacteristically funny exchange between him and several audience members on the food choices in The Mohawk Valley. “Big Food….. just give me Big Food….. cut out the middleman and inject it directly into my heart” You had to be there, on second thought you didn’t; but it was all about timing and he did well, for five minutes at least.

A few more people yelled out some disturbing viewpoints on race. One brave or chemically imbalanced audience member yelled “The arabs have co-opted all the corner stores” It was during a particularly quiet stretch in his routine. There were no cricket chirps like Blumquist but nevertheless he struggled with the upstate mentality. “Gosh you people only laugh at racial jokes” he candidly observed. “ What is this a Klan rally”?

He got political. Fans of The Daily Show were definitely happy to hear him wax philosophical on solutions to the war in Iraq. “We need to drop X-Box’s, Playstation 3’s, by the thousands; give em’ generators because we destroyed their infrastructure. In a few years there will be no more suicide bombers the kids will rebel against their militant parents just like American kids rebel against their parents”

The rest of his performance sailed over the heads of most of the audience. He spoke of excess and the consumer mentality of American society.

After his performance all three sat for a question and answer segment that included a lot of questions about the real, newsworthy relevance of The Daily Show. They each reminded the crowd on separate occasions “ it is comedy, it is not in any way serious”.

The sad state of affairs in the world give them plenty of opportunities to highlight the shortcomings of our political leaders. They deserve kudos for doing just that, but stand-up requires a little bit more and on September 29th they didn’t bring their ‘A-game’. We can’t, in good conscience, let them off the hook.

My Life Right Now

Freelancing is fun.

I am able to spend more time with my son and I get to set my own schedule.
I realize that unemployed people have the same perks. Nevertheless there are many differences that seperate me from my unemployed brethren.

I get paid for exactly how much I do.

Since I get paid by the article I keep word count at a minimum. So much for rep- I know I can write. I know when I am cookin because the local Gannett will always pick-up my subject matter two weeks later and slap on a two thousand word rebuttal or expound on the subject.

That is easily four of my articles.

Everyone knows what I am capable of so I don't give a fuck.

I actually, in a fit of naivete, applied to the same shitty paper. The publisher is a good catholic friend of my ex-boss. I won't even waste my time.

When I first started I began to realize the power and influence an editor can have over finished work. My old editor micromanaged my work adding her own words to change the tone of my articles. She obviously never bothered to study the elements of style. She would take all the wit and humor out my pieces replacing it with bland tasteless prose.

A good piece could have been excellent.

I know that sounds and is narcissistic, but hey, thats the nature of the beast- don't fuck with genius, let it develop, nurture it, then acknowledge it.

Or it may wake up and bite.

I remember one particular piece early on in my young career when she added approximately 200 hundred words out of two thousand and put her byline on it- I considered that a form of acknowledgement and was cocksure it would lead to some type of goldpot at the end of the rainbow scenario.

Wrong.

I never got paid, so I Freelance. Now she has some imitation Dave trying to jack me for info, all the time.

My advice?

Do what I did, teach yourself, that is where your value lies.

To her credit she challenged me to improve.
And I did
Beyond all expectations.

Oh yeah, back to why I like freelancing

The government cannot withhold any of the money coming to me for any reason.

I can skip an appointment and I won't run the risk of losing benefits(because I don't have any).

My son can be proud that his daddy is a writer(it sounds good) and can still kick his friend's daddy's ass.

I get to meet influential people on the premise of writing a story and create one along the way.

I go to lots of catered, free luncheons , press pass dangling with my borrowed camera in my front pocket.

I get a lot of close ups of accidents and always make it around the police tape at crime scenes, writing pad in hand, pen at the ready with a form of anticipatory adrenaline slowly coursing through my veins. Ooooh that feels good!

"What you doing here" They ask

I always act surprised and explain I am a freelance reporter, they usually share my excitement before they come to their senses and remove me.

Except for the firemen; I have not gotten close to a fire yet.

But now something is different, there is a shift occuring.

Lately I have been trying to push the envelope, shedding the Mr Nice Guy routine.

In Utica it pays to be nice; but I am starting to realize it pays better to be mean and just smile a lot.

I have been in contact with some pretty good businesses in the area and I thinking about getting back on the grid. Like I said I love freelance but I have a son and it ain't like I'm writing for Time Magazine.

The kid has needs and they are only going to grow.

I don't want to hear any talk about consumer mentality, materialism or any of the other hypocritical counter consumer culture shit we have been heaving all over cyberspace.

The shit sounds real good when the power is on and most of the bills are paid.

I want money and good ideas on getting a lot of it.

It is that simple.

My goals, as I write -right now- are shifting.

I can feel the mother of rants coming on

but I won't let her out,

can't let her out;

it won't change a thing.