Its been a while
The last few posts on here were articles that I wrote for The Utica Phoenix. The reason I am not writing for the Phoenix now is simple...no money and very little appreciation.
Life has a trajectory for the goal oriented, you just outgrow certain things. For years I felt taken for granted, fulfilling the needs for grant funds and working as a multi-talented gopher. I did everything from leadership training , writing articles (for free), selling advertising and chaperoning high-school students to Hamilton College. I did all this under the belittling eye of CEO who took every opportunity to remind me I did not possess a Bachelor Degree and was lucky to have 'any' job.
After all - "you are a Black Man".
When the time came and I desperately needed a reference...guess what?
But That is Ancient History
Just about every demographic is undergoing a cultural revolution. An awakening . The Black community has regained partial custody of it's image. We have been able to rise above the phony promise of 'street careers' in rap and basketball and managed to produce a new generation of technically savvy Millenials that will surely add to the collective in ways I can only imagine.
But you can't tell if you listen to our leadership. I am sick of the narrative we need our hands held every step of the way. The reality of our self determination and ability to overcome seems to have been lost on many people committed to elevating the poorer members of society. Looking outside the community for monies and help by maligning and diminishing the value of our most valuable resources that are all around us- youth.
They represent an untamed mysterious mindset completely foreign to anyone in leadership. The cultural/generation gap is so wide, many sacred non-profits are struggling or happen to be in serious danger. Flailing around the community unable to even reach a target group. No doubt the Children are paying a bigger price than any adult involved. It is sad because these programs were historically supposed to help kids and anyone else. Lately it appears the most well intentioned non-profits only help the people earning a check.
At the heart of these failures is an unwillingness or inability to go within the community. Apprehension and impatience with generational pathologies that are congruent to the affluent experience. A disposition that can nurture an imaginary fear or very real disdain for those less educated. A quiet disgust with any accent or mannerism that exposes a cultural origin separate from Europe or middle America. The idea of gyrating teen girls dancing to the current 'pop' favorites is somehow 'nasty' or abnormal. A point of view that conveniently fits with the misogynistic , exploitive cauldron of deception that hip-hop culture has evolved into. No one can admit (red faced) that fertility dances have been appropriated into the mainstream.
At the heart of all this dysfunction is an inner self loathing, a need to distance one's self from what is considered uniquely black. The very existence of Black pride, or challenging the status quo, creates a wave of unease; "don't make waves" the elders say. I have even overheard more than one black woman within the community seeking out genetic evidence to eliminate Africa as a genetic origin-'you know I have The ****** genetic marker; which means we are black Europeans' or 'I'm not black I'm Panamanian'- to mask the low esteem and distance themselves from all the negative baggage heaped upon the black community . These types of confessions always floored me but you would not be able to tell from my 'poker face'. Despite their feelings they are still Sisters whether they admit or not; we can feel the kinship.
Its Ok To Be Proud
This is the result of swallowing an all encompassing white supremacist ideal of inferiority. You know , the ideal that turns Jesus and all his Disciples white and says Columbus 'discovered' The Americas. An ideal , by way of the typical socially distorted American education, I had swallowed, couldn't digest and threw up. I had no idea how many people share the same unconscious bias that prevents many people of color from getting their 'propers' .
I was able to overcome a lot of negativity to get to where I am right now. Delusional Narcissism- a blissful place reserved for hustlers that have achieved a modicum of success. Its like believing rap lyrics apply to only you, that's where I am at.
Untouchable...Tenacious...Driven...Blessed and Very Lucky
This blog will be used to expose those grey areas that we all operate within...the nuance laden existence that we take for granted. Its about elevation, positivity and this brand spankin new paradigm of information we live in.
Its ok...we will adapt...shit like this temporary.
Life will happen...so stay tuned I have a lot to share with you. I also know that in the near future I will put together words in such divine order that they will be read by half the world.
there it is: Delusional- Narcissism and a Nugget of truth to whet yer appetite.
I will also be starting Utica's Native Tongue Times
There is a lot more to Come
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Its been a while