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Monday, December 24, 2007

Busy Busy Life

So I am getting ready for Christmas. My editor/colleague tells me I have to have all copy in by Monday 24th.

I have not written a thing. The good part is I can't get fired.

The Bad part? Actually I am not sure there is a bad part.

This presents an opportunity for me to grow as a freelance journalist and writer. I am going to submit pure 100% unadulterated fluff.

I am going to write opinionated, unsubstantiated advertorials for issues that no one in this area of the country supports.

An example?

Why gay marriage is good.

That should go over well.

I live in fanatical netherworld of Patriotic fervor barely contained by high taxes and a bad economy. I guess the subpar living conditions provide just enough of a distraction for people to go home after work instead of joining a militia.

That is what irks me.

Underlying all the Patriotism is a naivete a complete gullability.

People trust the Government.

The modern American man has forgotten why we had all these checks and balances built in to our government in the first place. Our founding fathers simply created a structure that would require magical conspiratorial powers to pull off any bullshit on the American People.

Just like the evolution of the urban rat sometimes you have to build a better trap . Which leads us to our current State Of The Union.

The Government we trust so much would love to wish you a Merry Christmas.

May you create a debt so large you work every day of your life to recreate this experience once a YEAR.

May your property value tumble and your mortgage foreclose. We will be there to help you pick up the pieces. Especially at this time of year.

My you prepare for neverending war; our economy is a violent hedgefund.

Most of all, tell your kids to tune in........

1 comment:

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Where I live gay marriage is legal and I've yet to even see the topic debated in the newspapers or on TV.

I fully expect America to be at war when Kelso Jr turns 18. Should be either still an American citizen or a dual citizen of America and my adopted homeland, I will squirrel the boy away behind the most fortified Jewish bankers' mansion in Cali or Medellin (don't worry, Blogspot, I don't live in Colombia) that Uncle Sam can TRY to conscript my baby boy, but it will cost them a few in doing so.