Sometimes You Think You Know

On Feb 15th Utica recorded the first homicide of 09'. Like all murders it was a tragic, senseless, 100% preventable act. An undelible blemish on an otherwise exemplary crime rate track-record for the City of Utica.

We do not live in Maybary. Utica is no stranger to violence, but in recent years the typical street violence associated with drug dealing and other forms of organized crime had been on a steady decline.

Senseless violence, however, is a different story. It really doesn't matter how a particular set of circumstances lead to a murder. It is the act, itself that defines the circumstance.

The fact that violence is the first option for some of us is alarming.

This murder is an abberation. It is an anomoly.

Murder, thank God, is an abberation- an anomoly.

Rich, poor, black white. It does not matter.

In this case, the case of 17 yr old Joshua Smith, we are at a loss. We can isolate contributing factors. We can use statistics and say one group of people is more prone to violence than the other.

Someone always undoubtedly bucks the odds and at the end of the day it is always about loss, waste and regret.

This case is no different. The two main suspects, Harold Jones and Anthony Ruffin were not typical neighborhood thugs. The two teenage cousins spent a lot of time together, most of it, by all appearances innocent.

What goes on in the minds of young people has been a baffling question for adults since the dawn of man. As grown-ups we all reach a point where the void from childhood to adulthood can be a mazelike chasm as confusing as income taxes but through it all we learn to trust, to have faith in the good advice we, as adults, may have shared.

We trust and hope they will not get involved with 'bad things' and they will always do the right thing.

Then something happens. They become teenagers armed with the confidence your good advice gave them. Now they want to see for themselves what all the hubbub is about. Some go a little farther than others revealing issues that may have lied dormant until now. The innocence is withering away.

Who can forget the 13yr old kid in Vernon who killed his father with a shotgun.

No one on the outside ever saw it coming. Only later was it divulged the child may have suffered from some severe mental disorders. But even his dad thought...he was safe.

This case is no different.

We know these kids.

16 yr old Anthony 'Man - Man' Ruffin was an avid basketball player who spent most his time working on his jumper and schooling everyone on his ( and my)block, Linwood Pl.. He has a loving mother and father. A tighknit family with an eye on responsibilty.

There were solid examples for him to follow and not follow. He went to school regularly evan had a curfew.

His cousin and alleged accomplice Harold 'Nick' Jones was also an avid ballplayer and was quickly developing into a man sprouting nearly two inches in little over a year. His development was also validated by his newly acquired squeaky-deep voice. He has allegedly had a few recent brushes with the law and I know of at least one awkward and potentially explosive situation regarding his behavior,but none of these things equalled murder.

Not even close.

According to both of them it was an accident. I am inclined to believe them.

Remember, I saw them everyday.

I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt because the alternative is to hard to accept. I can't get my mind around it. I choose to believe them because I cannot imagine these boys that I have known all these years killing anyone on purpose. I can't imagine these guys walking around playing the dozens with murderous intentions fooling everyone. Most career criminals, prone to violence, work their way up to murder. We would have at least labeled them 'bad kids'.

They weren't labeled...it had to be an accident.

In the meantime we look for answers. We wonder: How did they get a gun? A 'perfect storm' of negative moments punctuated by gunfire.

Utica is a battle scarred city losing the fight against a stagnant economy. Violence should be a bit further down the list when one counts all the problems that plague segments of our community.

But it isn't, rightfully so.

But that does not comfort the family of Joshua Thompson. The fact it does not happen everyday does not make it any easier to accept.

I offer no solution.

But I will readily admit, I was raised in violent times, more violent than now.

The cup is still half-full.

We can each help fill it.

Octo-Mom + Phelps= Stimulating.

Nadya gets death threats.
Phelps gets dumped by Kellog's.
Kellog's?
If you have ever toked the loco weed on a consistent basis there is a 90% chance you have had a POP-TART or a late night bowl of cereal made by who? Kellog's. I would even go out on a limb and assume at least 12-20% of their business is the result of some good chronic.

I know. You're probably sayin to yourself : "You are right Dave, I used to eat cereal after getting stoned all the time"
But you did not do it after winning gold medals...lucky you.
We are so full of shit.

What is up with the bullshit puritanical values we are trying to force down each other's throats?

Crack sells, people buy pussy, drink, watch porn, smoke pot, and on occasion, kill each other. Some even participate in gay sex.

Not just here in Utica New York, but all over the world.

So why do we, in our media, pretend that each one of us do not have anything to do with one of those aforementioned behaviors (feel free to add your own).

We are living in a prelapsarian world perhaps?

Bring back the days of Caligula, when slavery was just a job and grooming was a science.
We are comical in a tragic way.
Blago's hair. Kilmer for Guv.
Spitzer, McGreevy...am I trippin?

The effin Governator?- Jesse Ventura?

We jumped the shark years ago (Ronald Reagan).

Are we still at war?

How long have we been at war?

How long will we...?
Shit is crazier than its ever been.
Brace yourselves.
2009 is still young.

But this is more about our newspapers and the editors that pick front pages.

Values.

It is about what is important- to us.

I can see it now, the frontpage conference:

"Chris Brown and Rihanna Grammy Brawl...we got art with a few qoutes or two G.I.'s die in Mosul car bomb and economic stimulus" after a two second pause he will undoubtedly pick CB and Rihanna.

I do not blame them.

At least in the sixties they had to report the news. Confused people in the suburbs kept asking why people are burning up the city.

"Hell, we can see the smoke from here"

Back to the War.

It has been what, seven years?

That long?

If people just stay at home and accept the war, murder and billions down the drain then it will continue. I just do not want to hear any more of the two faced, bullshit moral lectures we are soo good at delivering whenever some guy is caught with his dick in the cookie jar or face in a bong.

We can't all be the best. There has to be a reward to being the best. We all know what those rewards are.

It is called anything you want baybay...anything you want.

We have a seemingly hard time accepting a bong toke from one our finest young people.

Yet we somehow accept the backdrop of war and the scenario with same person shooting someone.
It has been Grandfathered into our psyches. The idea.
WAR
Our indifference to it. Our arrogance about it. Our haughty, wasteful lifestyles will be our undoing if we do not change.

Electric Cars, Hydrogen Cells, thermal heat for homes.

Hardly revolutionary, but practical and sustainable.
It has nothing to do with political partisanship and everything to do with hypocrisy.
I am as guilty as anyone else. I leave the same carbon vapor trail that you and your kids produce.

But I imagine a different world.

Do you too?
I sit idly by as my chosen representatives vote us out of the future.

Do you too?
I sit silently.

I do.
Stifling a cough.

You too?
Quiet.
Waiting for someone, something to save us from ourselves.
We need a new economy.
A new infrastructure.
We always start here...then we sell it to the world.

And Start all over again.

New Word

It is etched in stone.

The next performance of PG-13 is scheduled for March 7th at Thornberry's.

In the meantime I am going to try and find something good to do.

For starters I will be doing a live on-air interview with David Horowitz (the guy pictured above) the controversial conservative pundit.

I just recieved word it will not be this week, but stay tuned...it will happen.

Horowitz is one of the most enigmatic political pundits in contemporary America.

His new Book 'One Party Classroom' hits the shelves on March 10th and is guaranteed to piss-off and alienate at least a million new readers.

He, unlike many of his peers, is not an easy target.,

Horowitz's well thought and decidedly conservative stance is a result of his refusal to be a hypocrite.

Horowitz was raised in a household that embraced communism during the McCarthy era during the fifties.

In the sixties he went on to earn multiple degrees from U.C. Berkeley where he got his feet wet in the protest movement.

His activism also garnered him a reputation, he became on outspoken member of the counter-culture movement.

But why reject the trappings of a good education and loyal following by living a life of sacrifice to the 'state' ala communism?

No, Horowitz was/is a smart guy and knew he was going to make money...something capitalists do.

Make money and lose money (Madoff).

But he has, like I wrote earlier, pissed a few people off along the way.

I really do not know the intimate details of his politics (on purpose). I know he has been labeled a Jewish nationalist by appointment , he has never said this to me. I also know he has been called racist by , white, black , muslim and hispanics.

I will not be influenced by anything I have read about him because I know in the proper context, anything can be made to 'make sense' or be grounds for commital.

Ironically, in a world psycho-social way, he has lot in common with Farrakhan his alternate universe doppelganger.

Not really, but they both serve as the watchdogs for their people( Jews, Blacks respectively). They both will offer their unflinching opinion without apology to anyone who will listen and/or be offended.

Their views are often at odds but they still seem...the same.

I think it has something to do with the ability to make people think through extreme anger.

It does not matter.

Horowitz is relevant.

His opinion matters, a lot of people agree with his thoughts, ideas and theories.

Important people.

All Good

The show was a blast.
Thanks to Mike, Sal, Bud, Gary, Aaron and everyone that came out.
We had a great time.
There were a lot o' people.
I was drinkin Cabernet.
The end of the show would have left you speechless.
Alex Jager, performance artist, warped the paradigm...singlehandedly almost. He had two of 'The Real Burnouts' with him.
Alas I am watching the superbowl while writing this so I will keep it brief.
Suffice it to say.
PG-13 lives.
Next show March 7 09'.
Check us out on myspace.
Oh yeah, I also promise to start posting video.
Stay tuned

Pg-13 opens 1/23

Ever since I worked in the entertainment industry I have always wanted to open in Utica. I would lie awake at night after working the Saturday shift at All Jokes Aside (Chi-Town comedy club) dreaming of the day I could grace the stage er' -(cough)- banquet room of the majestic and quaint Thornberry's Restaurant.
My ship has come in people because on Jan 23rd I will be hosting what is being described as the best and most unique line up of local talent since the Gong Show.
Seriously.
There will be poets bringing a true element of quality. There will be musical performances...about which I know very little. You all must understand I just want to provide a moveable format that will showcase in and around all of New York State with only one single element of consistency: it will be hosted by yours truly David B. Dancy.`
There will be honesty. I will be as much a member of the audience as anyone else; although I may be asked to participate in some improvisational exercises.

The fact is, many of the acts that scheduled to perform are new to me. it addds to the excitement. We hope to make this a bi-monthly event but the possibility of its growth is limited by the demand for live performance. If we can tap into malaise of an otherwise dull friday night with some drinks, music and laughter you would be crazy not to come out.
On a broader note there will be one of a kind exeperiences such as the lecture by resident performance artist Alex Jager. He will do a slide show lecture on his recent trip to the California hot springs and my hometown: San Francisco.
I'm excited.
I'm psyched.
I don't even know what I am going to say.
But guess what?
I ain't worried.

Cosmo RIP

As you all know I lost my part time community center (Cosmopolitan Center) job working with underprivileged youth.

My job title was Teen Rec Coordinator.
Basically, all of us were victims of a fiscal disaster drill.

A closing operation. A firesale, orchestrated with perfect precision by thoughtful, clever politicians and bureaucrats.

The dizzying roster of board caucuses and absent or ever changing members rendered accountability for oversight moot.
The Cosmopolitan Center, once strong and forever proud had suffered for years under inadequate management. There was never a grant writer, and to my surprise I had a boss (God Bless Her) who was head of a delinquency program and could not correctly spell delinquent or unity (it was on a posted flier for the whole world to see).

James Balckshear, the last champion of Utica, would be ASHAMED.

I was required to teach a life skills course that suggests: 'there are very few ways to obtain money legally during a financial crisis'.
How encouraging.

It goes on

'the lottery, lawsuits are not reliable solutions'. I know you are wondering; did it mention education or work as solutions to financial crisis? As a way of freeing ones self from the ragged jaws of poverty? No, this is social design, a training of sorts. Its where you learn how to be eaten. The life skills class was a primer to waiting in line at social service and how to catch the bus...stuff all these kids already know.

What about their dreams, the achievable humble aspirations that many of these kids have. I know we can't just hand out potential. The notion of all of our kids being excellent in the right conditions is unrealistic. Despite the fact that we each have something we are good at that can probably add to the community's wellbeing. We can foster an environment where kids get to know who they are and how their fancy, brand spanking new brains work. After all, an afterschool program is the place to explore these ideas. But THIS. It was the worst curriculum I have ever seen. I'm not even a teacher. But it seemed to me like a subtle way to suck the dreams and motivation out of a young mind. Just provide endless details about catching busses and cashing county checks, with a multiple choice test at the end. Only an educated mind with a sinister goal would green light this crap.
These children were grounded in the boots on the ground reality you read about, all to cynical, prepared and committed to living a mediocre life.
No Dreams. No Dreaming. No time to dream. Most of them already written off.

One kid told me he wants to be a mailman.

I told him "Keep your nose clean kid, you'll be there in no time, in the meantime- B average...minimum"

That was lifeskills.

The place was a wreck these kids really deserved better...but nothing?

You decide.
I'm guilty too, I worked there.
I think back and I feel like I should have spoken up then. I needed and liked my job. We all did. But the 'need' and the 'like' seemed to get in the way of 'The Kids'.
The janitor could barely walk (gout). So obviously the place was a sty. They never renegotiated contracts with the county and no one cared.

Rewind.

The price of gas and everything else is going up every other non-profit game in town is renegotiating according to cost of living and business increases yet we, for whatever reason, just sit and accept whatever they (the county) give us.

"Don't wanna rock the boat"We did not have working water faucets, the ceiling leaked and the barf-rooms were petrie dishes.

Did I mention no one cared?

For seven decades this place was a destination for young black people in the City of Utica. A relic of segregation when we did not have choices of where to go.
Now we do. And we chose to let it die.
In reality it was put out of it's misery.
An old leftover from a once proud black community unceremoniously shut down.
No goodbyes, awards or tears.
It is sad.

I wrote earlier: James Blackshear, the last champion, would be ashamed.We black Uticans can blame no one. We made clear choices and stood idly by as the place was run into the ground.
Who wants to donate stuff when the staff pores through the donations before they give it away, that is, if they give it away.
Who wants to help when there is no transparency, nothing but miscellaneous expenditures and Peter takin from Paul.
After all this we were told it was going to be alright.
Our jobs were safe.
Even though I was a part time employee I was told I would be seriously considered for the fulltime position of Youth Advocate.
We were all told that the agency taking over our social service contracts (MVCAA) would be considering us for employment. The plan was to continue providing services to the existing clients which are basically teenagers.
In the months I facilitated the after school program which consisted of Basketball and other incredibly low budget activities I developed a close relationship with a lot of the children. I know all their names, what they want to be when they grow up and how they are living now.
My boss does not even care. Or maybe I got it wrong . Maybe she just can't remember their names.

The fact is, I have been left behind.

My cover letter, resume, interview all seemed to be a formality. I have watched everyone else I worked with make the transition from agency to agency leaving me out in the cold. I will not even get into the details but suffice it to say someone does not like me.

I have never been part of the clique at The Original Cosmo. I'm not a Utica native. I write, perform in plays and reject the notion of Little Wayne and Madea as culturally relevant to my community. Oh yeah, I also refrain from thumping the Bible and invoking the name of Jesus as a convenient ally in any debate. It also does not help I have a white (Belgian no less) partner and a bi-racial child that is still a novelty.

"He looks soo white" or "That's not his baby...can't be"

I also would not engage in petty backbiting...as I look back I think I should have got involved in the backstab frenzy. I would probably be at work right now.
I can also spell- d-e-l-i-n-q-u-e-n-t
The most telling factoid is this conversation. "So Ms. Blah Blah how did your interview go"?
"Fine Mr. Dancy but that part with the computer test...I didn't do it"
"Really"
"Yeah... it was hard"
The computer test consisted of excel and a response to a simple client based 'life crisis'.
She got the job.
So far- I have not.
Maybe my passion is oft putting?
Maybe my command of the English language intimidates some people.
It didn't intimidate them when I was writing articles for their little causes.
But all that is behind me. Life goes on and the familiar faces change places.
Meanwhile I am drawing up plans for a Monorail

Its 09 What's a guy to do?

I am still unemployed.
I am not short on offers, semi-offers, and interested parties but that has not translated into anything but...frustration.
I am goin to give myself a job.
ON FRIDAY JAN 23RD 2009 IN UTICA AT THE HISTORIC THORNBERRY'S RESTAURANT
I will be hosting Poetry Group #13. It is a travelling smargasborg of performers from in and around Utica who will do all kinds of different stuff for the enjoyment of a 'dinner theatre' crowd in a 'dinner theatre' atmosphere.
Yours truly will be hosting.
Be afraid...be very afraid.
There has never been this type of no holds barred live commentary on a stage in Utica.
My topics will include drugs (use, abuse, love, hate), money, sex, relationships, adulthood, childhood, politics...and drugs.
Be there.
Be ready.
I will be.
For info on performing or anything else call or text 315-723-5020